Children and Home – Caring for Both Well
Caring for the needs of our families and our homes don’t have to be in opposition to the other. Today I’m sharing how I’ve learned to combine tasks to better flourish and bless those in my home.
Caring For Home With Our Children
As families grow and as responsibilities increase, it necessitates growth in all areas. The growing pains you feel in new seasons will only last so long though. You will eventually see the reward of what it brought about! I remember having only one or two children and bemoaning the fact that I had to make breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. Fast forward and the needs have grown, however, my ability to meet it and not be overwhelmed has changed.
“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” – Dr. John Trainer
When it comes to being a mother and keeping a home, it’s important we don’t lose focus on what matters most. Our children’s hearts being tended and cared for should be our number one priority. It can sometimes feel like we’re being torn in different directions as mothers. But the reason we tend home in the first place is so it can be a haven where growth and healthy relationships happen. We do the work needed in the home because when tended to, it allows for creativity and love to flourish.
Commit To Saying Yes To Little Helpers
It can be hard to say yes to or purposefully invite our children into helping us with our everyday tasks. I’ve many times said no to help because I selfishly don’t want more work for myself. And inviting our kids in can often result in a mess, a broken item, or a sticky or wet kiddo to then change. But the benefits of inviting our kids alongside us are greater and more long lasting than any inconvenience we may experience.
I’ve often felt exasperated by my children’s reasonable needs and the responsibilities of the house. I don’t own the block on peaceful mothering or homemaking, far from it. But I want to share some insights I’ve gained, through sweat and tears. These are practices I’ve put into place to help myself manage better over the years by God’s grace.
Say No To Perfection And Yes to Growth
Having our kids help allows us to grow in patience and to slow in childlikeness. In teaching our children how to perform a task alongside us, it requires us to let go of control. The end result may take longer to arrive at, but you will have made an investment. And when we involve our kiddos, it has many benefits. Quality time, entertainment, building their understanding of work, and the satisfaction of contributing to something bigger than themselves.
Age Appropriate Tasks for our Children
All of these concepts will change depending on age, of course. When I had a baby, I would set them up on the counter with me while I baked. I was able to have my hands free and my child was able to be close to mama and comforted. A young toddler could sit on the counter and help stir or add flour and feel proud for helping mama. A three year old can help cut up soft vegetables/fruits with appropriate utensils besides you which is a great hand eye coordination exercise.
The More I’ve Invited, The More They’ve Desired
My kids range in age from 6 down to 2 but in only these short years, I’ve noticed they love to help with certain household tasks. They often ask to help chop, peel, knead, or pour in the kitchen and their skill and confidence has grown! There are of course jobs they don’t readily ask to do. Some household chores feel more like work than others 😉
Redeeming Our Time
Incorporating time with my children into many of the daily tasks I’m doing each day has helped optimized my time. When I was pregnant with my third, I desperately needed to be able to nap in the afternoons. So I took advantage of the mornings when the kids and I had energy, prioritizing what was needed. I used for prepping dinner, playing, cleaning up and getting some laundry accomplished so that I knew I could enjoy a nap later.
There have been many tired days for me when the household was too much to ever fully accomplish in one day. However, these habits have allowed me to be less behind and therefore more relaxed and present with my children. A marriage of the role of mother and homemaker is what’s needed. It allows us to not run haphazardly around keeping the house magically tidy while simultaneously trying to give our children 100% of our attention.
I’m now in a season where my youngest is 2 and I have three children who don’t often nap. I don’t always need the nap these days, but I keep to the same habits and utilize my afternoon “quiet time.” I use the time as needed or desired depending on the day. I’ll spend it catching up on tasks, enjoying tea, reading a book, getting some work done, etc…
A Final Encouragement – There Is No Perfect Method
It’s easy to want to take what someone else does and copy it to receive the same results in life. I’ve tried that many times, often with little to no success. What I’m sharing is what has worked for our family in particular. That said, the concepts can be used to fit in whatever way will serve you. In general, I’ve found that involving our kids earlier on as a fun activity or quality time moment can help result in less struggle with incorporating chores later on. It’s not a new concept to them and they will often have already gained a semblance of that skill.
